We work so hard to shape our lives into something more than survival, to make our difficulties worthwhile, and to create a semblance of the dreams we hold closest to our hearts. Sometimes that work takes us away from the very reasons for which we are working… our loved ones. When we find a moment to reconnect with those we love, we find that the journey is only as long and hard as we make it, and that our goal has been growing into it’s own potential right before our eyes.
I feel blessed to be so close to my son. If you know him, you know that he is as private as I am open, so I only hope that he isn’t mad at me for sharing my pride in the young man that he is becoming. This past year, he’s managed to take steps that took me more than 35 years to make. He’s found his voice in difficult times, he’s learning to make thoughtful decisions for himself and own his responsibility for them. He’s shown how big his heart is in how much he’s helped both his father and I in recovering from difficult medical issues, and he’s even taken more responsibility for his own decisions about his health than his father or I ever have, and is learning from our mistakes. We’ve always been close, and he’s always been able to talk to me about whatever is on his mind… of course, he maintains some privacy about certain parts of his life and I trust that he is making the right decisions because of what he does tell me. He’s at the point in his life where I will learn more from him than he could from me.
So on a night when another season is done for both of us, and he is beginning to make decisions about the next stage of his own future, we took some time out to see a movie and let go of all of the frustrations and stress that we’ve accumulated over the past several months. Afterward, we discussed the responsibilities that he’s taking on, and my role as his parent in his choices. Tonight we met each other as adults, albeit one young adult and one, let’s call it ‘experienced’ adult. Adults with a level of trust and respect for each other and for ourselves that can continue to learn from and support each other. We’ve got each other’s backs. But even on this night that my son took another step into manhood, we still had the occasion to share the magic of imagination and how it can be used to replace the things that we had felt lacking in our lives.
Creating moments with others that we love, despite the problems we may have with them. Creating moments with ourselves, getting to know and befriend our own imaginations. Creating the joy we seek in moments that are surrounded by pain. Being mirrors for each other when the pain obscures our creative power. And celebrating moments when we know that we have worked as hard as we could to achieve our goals, before moving on to whatever comes next.
I know that “whatever” it is that we each choose will be wonderful, because of the moments we’ve invested in creating and supporting our dreams.